Wow. I can’t believe that 2013 is nearly over. It seems that time went faster than usual this year, that the plans I set to complete have not quite kept up with the pace of my vision that my kids all of a sudden got a LOT older. It’s now Holiday season and I am still having to remind myself to date documents with 2013 instead of 2012!
This holiday season, there have been many thoughts whirling through my mind. From the peak of Kilimanjaro to the stages and businesses on 5 continents, to the sweaty studio of Newton Fitness, to the confines of my own home and to the echoing expanse of my consciousness. So many experiences and so many lessons learned. With these thoughts and lessons come lots of questions. Some positive and some negative. In this time of reflection, I guess I am willing to experience and be honest with all of it and hope you are too.
Sustainability How long can we operate with the resources we have as a planet, as communities, families, and individuals? What is sustainable to nurture our growth and what is not? Food, energy, air, water and money but also time, interest, community, knowledge, desire, creativity and human capacity. Is what I am doing or striving to do sustainable?
Dependability What are the things, people and institutions that we know we can depend upon? Things that will be there day in and day out, through good times and bad times. Am I someone that others can depend upon?
Values What are the real core values that drive our teams, our families, ourselves or myself?
Power Certainly it feels great to have use of all of my powers of perception, positive impact on others, ability to create, etc. But what about my not-so-great powers? As I get bigger, do my negative powers kick in as well and am I even aware of them?
Involuntary replication I know there are patterns in my life that continue to repeat almost without my conscious knowledge. What are they and how can I break the negative ones?
Friends Who are they really? At the end of the day, who are the people that really love you and, no matter what, accept us for who we really are and are just as relentless about seeing us live up to and beyond our own expectations? And, am I really a friend to them in the same way or am I only on the receiving side?
Reach How many people can you or I positively touch in this world and give them increased advantage in the easiest, highest impact, and most replicate-able way?
Gratitude There is so much to really be grateful for, but are we really grateful or do we just go through the motions of being grateful for self-serving reasons in hoping for something in return?
Love Probably the most important value of all. Do you really love your family, your team, your mission, your business, your life, or even yourself?
Responsibility Can I truly eliminate justification and blame from my life? Even tougher, can I eliminate blame to the point of not blaming myself and unhook the link between being responsible, self-blame and guilt?
Vision What is my vision and am I willing to fight to keep the vision of myself alive?
It is on this question that I ask you to look into 2014.
One of my mentors, Mack Newton, said it really well to me today. He said, Dont focus so much on setting new goals or resolutions for the New Year. Focus perhaps on those things that you want to leave behind as you make this transition.
Leave behind the anger, fear and guilt that saddled you in 2013. Strip away the doubts, self-sabotage and moments of beating yourself up and let them fade into the past. Let that stuff go!
If you do, what will be left is an amazing and glorious YOU. Because if there is a real truth in the world, it is you, when you are really you. You know what I mean?
Make 2014 the year that the world sees the real authentic you with all of its brilliance, blemishes and beauty. Let yourself love ALL of that. And be the person who can love others in the same way. If you can do that, there is nothing better.
May the New Year bring you and your loved ones all the prosperity, joy, health, wealth and love that you desire. You deserve it!!
Real resistance is self-induced. If your own perceived value is diminished, you aren’t motivated enough to try to overcome the resistance.
If you are like most people, there always seems to be something that mysteriously appears between you and your dreams. Say you really want to write a book but never seem to get around to it. The reason is that whatever gets in the way-whether its cleaning your closets, checking your e-mail, or making some phone calls-as more value to you in that immediate moment than the book you want to write. Think about that for a second. Getting all those phone calls made has more immediate value to you than the value of a book that could potentially touch the lives of thousands of people. How ludicrous is that?
How many things are you allowing to get in your way, forming resistance that stops you from being who you’re supposed to be? Because essentially, at some level, what your little voice is saying is that the phone calls or the closet cleaning are more important than sitting down to write your book? more important than being who you are supposed to be.
When you really look at procrastination, the first toll that little voice takes is on your confidence. As a matter of fact, I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years in both sales and leadership, and the issue of effectiveness many times boils down to confidence.
The more times you allow that little voice to procrastinate and justify not doing something, the less confident you become in taking on the bigger tasks that you should be accomplishing.
If your confidence is low, then your resistance will be high, and you will never accomplish the things you set out to do or become who you want to be!
I’ve seen so many people fail to achieve their full potential because they were too busy sorting through piles of resistance. A woman came up to me in one of my workshops and said, I’ve had this idea about a book for a long time. I asked her why she hadn’t written it yet, and she said, Well, I’ve had a lot of great ideas, but I just never seem to get around to it.
I asked her, So whats it going to take for you to do it? Are you going to schedule some time? Develop a list of priorities?
None of that seemed to work for her, until we began to discuss the concept of self-value Resistance often comes from people undervaluing themselves. When you do that, you’re devaluing the natural gift that you have to give, the one you were put on this planet to share. And because of that, everything else becomes more important, which is why you don’t get to it. That’s why you end up frustrated.
That was when the truth hit home for her. Within four months, her book was complete.
If there is frustration about not having fulfilled your potential by now, imagine the frustration you’ll feel somewhere down the road when you’re fifty, sixty, seventy, or eighty years old, as you think to yourself, How come I didn’t do it? Why didn’t I do it? I should have done it. Its too late now and I cant do it. (By the way, its never too late.)? But, keep In mind
Repetition builds conditioning. By repeatedly putting in too many hours at the office, having too many phone calls to make, partying with your friends rather than spending that time at home or with your significant other, you’re conditioning resistance toward building a better relationship. How does that happen? The more times you repeat the scenario of hanging out with your friends and having another drink at the bar, the more value you place on that in-the-moment experience. It becomes more valuable to you at that moment than developing the loving relationship with your family that you may really want more in the long run. You are actually conditioning yourself to place greater value on those other things instead of on your own dreams.
Those things that are standing in front of you are awfully tempting, but you’ve allowed the value of that moment to override the long-term value of a future moment. Why? Because you’ve let the little voice convince you, You deserve this right now, and that will come later, and besides…you’re probably not able to pull that off anyway.
Let me put it another way. Fred, the founder of several successful weight loss companies in America, told a great story that relates to this. Early in the development of his weight loss businesses, he had a woman who was suffering from severe health problems related to her obesity. He attempted to sell her on a weight loss program that included a very simple routine of proper nutrition, exercise, and a healthier lifestyle. It was obvious even to a layman that this woman’s life would be in danger if she did not do something!
Yet, she claimed she could not afford the $450 per month for the program. She said it was too expensive. With a sigh, Fred looked at her, then looked out the window and directed the woman’s attention to a shiny, hot-looking Mercedes convertible parked right outside.
Fred asked her, Would you like to have that car? The woman smiled widely and said, Of course, but…
Fred cut her off. He went on to ask her how much she thought that car was worth. She guessed about $80-90,000. He told her that was pretty close. Then he said, If I told you that you could have that very car for $6,000, would you buy it? She laughed and said, In a heartbeat! A seriousness came over his face as he looked her square in the eye and said, You would pay $6,000 to drive off in that hot Mercedes right now, but wouldn’t pay $450 to get your life back. Is that what you are telling me?
Needless to say, the woman bought the program and got herself back in shape, and Fred has gone on to build great wealth for himself and his businesses. What Fred knew all too well was that most people assess themselves and their future as being less valuable than the things they can have in the present moment. Immediate gratification makes you feel good about yourself now.
Imagine if I put a bag with $10,000 cash in it in front of you right now and said that you could have that money right now, or Id give you $15,000 cash in six months if you work out five days a week for one hour a day and go on a reasonably healthy diet. Which would you do? That $10K is tempting, and most would go for the easy and immediate cash rather than making more money and being healthy. Why?
If your self-esteem is low, you’re going to do whatever it takes to make you feel good in the moment. That’s how blocks and resistance are created. It would be tough for me, too-I might even go for the ten grand. Why? Because it would make me feel good right now. But if I felt really good about me, Id say, No, Im going to go for the $15,000 because Id rather have ten years added my life. It takes a person with high self-esteem to do that.
That doesn’t mean that if you don’t have great self-esteem, you’re all screwed up. It just means if you can develop the ability to step outside yourself, view yourself objectively and say, Whoa! Im devaluing me! That’s whats causing the resistance! you’re starting to win the game. You’re managing the little voice creating all the resistance that stands between you, your goals and the life you dream of having.
Every day, for the next 10 days, we will be posting an Office Survival scenario. At the end of the contest, one random winner will win a 30-Minute Coaching Session with me (valued at $2100)!
In our Scenario, today is a BIG DAY. You are pitching a potential client that could mean a big expansion for your business. BUT – like many days, it is filled with challenges (can you relate !). You have to decide which Little Voice Technique can help you survive the day. There’s no right or wrong, just different choices. Winner will be chosen at random, and you can see how your answers compare to others playing.
Below is a list of the different Little Voice Techniques referenced in the contest to help you with your choices.
Little Voice Techniques
Technique 1: Handling Success
Handling success refers to your ability to internalize and personalize your success, as well as help your friends and family do the same. It also includes anchoring your success and calling on it when dealing with difficult situations, as well as, using it to develop learned optimism which can help you increase your overall effectiveness, productivity and sales performance by an average of 34%!Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Reacting to fear refers to the ability to call upon prior successes to help shore up your confidence and self-esteem – so you take on a frightening situation with a winning attitude. It is literally the ability to turn fear into resourcefulness and power instantly. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 4: How to Debrief and Leverage any Situation
Debriefing will help you leverage current experiences for similar situations in the future. This means doing a thorough and objective examination of what happened, what worked, what did not work and what was learned when reviewing important situations. It is your ability to turn even a negative experience into positive learning experience. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 5: Celebrate All Wins!
Celebrating all wins is critical every time you get one. If you do, you can use them in the face of adversity and intimidation to bring up the energy for you and all of those around you! You want to be sure to celebrate every win you can for you and others. By minimizing your accomplishments, you take your energy and resourcefulness down and make it more difficult on yourself to take on bigger challenges. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 6:How to Shift Your Mood Quickly
It is important to be able to shift out of a negative mood quickly. The ability to clarify the game you are playing, the mood you are in and recalling just how big of a person you are can shift your mood very quickly. By doing that, you don’t lose sight of the dreams you want to achieve. If you make all of your decisions from a place of negativity, you are effectively shrinking yourself and any potential win you may achieve. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 7:How to Overcome the Fear of Making Mistakes
One highly effective way to overcome fear involves re-framing how you look at nervousness and mistakes. If you can learn to celebrate mistakes and nervousness, you will increase your own confidence and energy enabling you to deal with challenging and riskier situations in a positive way. This is important because, in most instances, the person with the highest energy wins! Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 8:How to Successfully Deal with Failed or Unaccomplished Goals
It is important to manage your response to failed goals so that you can maintain high energy, performance and expectations you want for yourself. One of the best ways to do this is to look at what you DID achieve while striving towards your goals. Give yourself credit for achieving important goals you did not initially know you had despite having missed the initial goal you were pursuing-puts you in the winners circle and helps you move forward! Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 9:Achieving Your Goals
All goals need to be written, time-limited, and measurable. Some people take these steps, but get paralyzed by the fears that they have around their goals. You have to override your fear and keep repeating the process of challenging your fear until your energy comes up. Using fear to bring your energy up gives you a much better likelihood of achieving your goal and moving past whatever you are afraid of. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 10:How to be Totally, 100% Present
Learn to be present and give the gift of real connection to your family and the other people you are with! Quieting the Little Voice and being present allows you to connect with people in ways that most of us ever take the time to do, encouraging people to want to communicate and work with us. It is not the amount of time you spend its how present you are with the people you are with. The best communicators and negotiators are the most present with whomever they are talking to. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 11: How to Anchor Love to Give you Power in the Moment
Technique 12: How to Use Bragging to Expand Your Presence and Change Your State of Mind
There is a time and a place for everything, even bragging! Practicing bragging as an exercise can help you break through inhibitions, shyness, fear, and ultimately reduce the debilitating thoughts that come from caring too deeply about what other people think about you! Just remember it is a sales exercise – not something to actually do in conversation and sales calls. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 13: How to Handle Any Objection Under the Sun
Handling objections is more about you than the other person. Many times, we personalize other peoples objections (especially when they tell us its personal; like they don’t want to buy from us or work with us because they think were unreliable or stupid!) When we take objections personally, we get emotional. When our emotions go up, our intelligence goes down. Practicing handling objections with someone else until they no longer trigger an emotional response will help you handle almost any objection you get without losing your cool or your self-confidence! Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 14: How to Banish Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve Thinking and Regain Power
When you feel down on yourself for not accomplishing all of your goals, create a list of all the things you would have done if you did not have a justification for not doing them. Write the justifications next to each item. As you read the list and justifications, you will come realize how small your justifications are compared to the things you could achieve. This will help you quiet your Little Voice and regain your energy and optimism. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 15: How to Pinpoint Your Real Emotions So You Can Free Up Your
Being able to help others (and yourself) identify the emotion that is impacting decision making during a conversation will help keep things positive and in motion. When you or someone is responding with negative emotions, do not try to deal with the issue – start dealing with the emotion instead. A person in a high emotional state will not be thinking rationally. Ask them how or what they are feeling. Ask them what specifically is driving that feeling. Helping someone identify their own emotional tone will automatically begin to dissipate the emotion. Ultimately, everyone will return to rational thinking and you can solve the issue at hand. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 16: How to Choose How You Want to Feel
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others is the ability to choose the mood you or the other person wants to be in. Figure out where you currently are on the scale of emotions. Then ask yourself how you want to feel. This question will usually help to move you up to a more positive emotion. Understanding how to choose your mood can take yourself or someone else from a low tone emotion like apathy, fear, impatience, or frustration to a more positive tone, like enthusiasm, excitement or interest. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 17:- How to Bring Yourself and Your Group into the Present
When groups come together to make progress of some sort, it is important that everyone be mentally and emotionally present and available to fully participate. Allowing everyone to share what it is that they feel like saying before a meeting begins without fear of judgment or interruption is a great way to get an entire groups Little Voices out of the way, and gets everyone in the group to be present. This can also be done on an individual basis to help acknowledge a Little Voice and then allow you to be present again instead of caught up in what the Little Voice is saying. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 18: How to Call It: Clearing Up the Unspoken Problems that Block Success
Sometimes you have to have the courage to stop a conversation and Call it. Calling it is something you do when you sense that others may not be speaking what is REALLY on their minds or when you suspect hidden agendas in the air. It is simply calling a time out and saying what you believe is being thought by the others, but not stated. Calling it will get people present whether what you called them on is right or wrong, and keep them focused on the task at hand. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 19: Overcoming I Can’t Do It!
Many times our Little Voice will tell us we cannot do something because we really don’t want to do it. If you want to overcome the response of I cant for important opportunities, determine whether you really believe you cant, or see if there is a reason you don’t want to. If the reason is fear of failure or justifications that are not legitimate, deal with that Little Voice so you can take another look at saying, Yes, I can. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
Technique 20: Overcoming I Don’t Know How to Do It!
New risks and challenges can really stir up your Little Voice to resist you. Once you are at the edge of your comfort zone, your Little Voice can tell you, I don’t know how! because the experience feels scary, risky and intimidating. Learning how to overcome this challenge requires you to tap into your positive energy and self-confidence around things you DO know how to do and from that place, ask yourself If you did know how, what would you do Many times, you will discover that you have a pretty good idea of what to do after all. Learn how to use all 20 techniques to manage your Little Voice!
As Robert Kiyosaki has said many times, When it comes to winning it’s ALL about the Little Voice. Join the hundreds-of-thousands of people who have learned-how to master these Little Voice techniques in order to achieve their-maximum potential and success.
I invite you to take a tour of my Virtual training Academy where I will teach you how to master your Little Voice in short and easy-to-follow, one-one-one training sessions that include interactive exercises for maximum learning! Click here for a free tour of the Virtual training Academy and discover how to master YOUR Little Voice! Use Promo code CONT13 to save 50% off published price!
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UPDATE- CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNER:-Jennifer Miscovich
Listen in on Rich Dad Advisor Garrett Sutton interviewing me on ways to dramatically improve your sales skills. We share many tips on how to get past common road blocks that stop you from making the money you want and living and an extraordinarily rewarding life!